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Getting over natural girl hair envy

Posted on 29 November 2016

natural hair envyAdmit it, at some point in time you’ve had natural girl hair envy. Maybe you wished your hair was a little bit longer, maybe a little bit thicker, a bit kinkier, a bit less kinky; you’ve looked at other girls’ hair and thought “if only I had her hair”. While I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point and maybe some of us are still there, hair envy can immobilize your hair journey, keeping you in a hair rut, leaving you just spinning your wheels.  While of course it’s great to be inspired, motivated and have hair-spirations don’t make your hair journey about someone else’s.

Below are two simple steps to help you to overcome hair envy:

  • Change your mindset and the way you think about/ view your hair– if your thoughts about your hair are negative, then you will never get beyond this step to see your hair for what is really is and you will forever look at others and compare yourself. In order to change the way you think of your hair, you need to first understand the hair you have. Understanding the true nature of your hair will help you solve various issues that you might have regarding it.  Additionally, it will help you select the best products and practices compatible for your hair based on your hair texture. In this day, there is so much information that is readily available for our consumption in the black hair community whether your hair is relaxed or kinked; read hair blogs, and watch YouTube videos of other divas offering often tried and true tips on hair that may be similar to yours.  While there is no single “right” method for everyone, hair blogs and YouTube videos may offer a good platform for you to learn from and experiment a bit, which can help you decipher what will work best for you. Hair-ducation and awareness is key, the more you know about your hair the easier you can move on to the next step.
  • Love your hair and embrace the beauty of it. See your hair for the beautiful crown that it is. Love it, embrace it, nurture it, and work with what you’ve got instead of focusing on how long or how thick someone else’s hair is, or wishing that your curl pattern was more like theirs. The fact of the matter is that everyone’s hair is different, so focus on the things that may be unique to your hair, things you find beautiful or that you love about your hair, like maybe how perfect your coils are, how shiny your hair is, or how strong and springy your coils are. Make a point to recognize the great things that Mother Nature has blessed you with and understand that your hair is a part of you and that it is infinite until you are no more. While nurturing your hair starts from the inside and then to the out, loving your hair too comes first from within you and your acceptance of who you are.

There is no need to be envious of someone else’s hair, just by simply understanding, and accepting your hair and working with what you’ve got can evoke a new sense of pride in your relationship with your hair. Remember your hair is infinitely perfect and beautiful! You are not your hair.

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